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I felt like a zombie at work today.
Brain foggy. Distracted. Running on autopilot.
Truth is: I'm only truly present 5% of my day. The other 95%? I'm either ruminating on the past or anxiously planning every possible future scenario.
This realization hit me during a conversation with my coach and mentor, Jared Schuster. He pointed out something profound: while I was obsessing over "success," I was missing the actual richness of life happening right now.
Here's what most men (including myself) get backwards:
We chase external metrics of success, thinking they'll bring us purpose. More money. Bigger titles. Faster growth.
But the men I interview who've "made it" often feel more lost than ever.
Why?
Because we're following someone else's script of what success should look like.
The truth Jared taught me: Purpose isn't found in some grand future achievement. It's discovered by following tiny threads of curiosity in the present moment.
For me, that meant:
- Starting a podcast about masculinity because I was genuinely curious
- Taking martial arts classes because something in me wanted to explore it
- Having vulnerable conversations instead of staying guarded
Each small "fuck it, why not?" moment led to something bigger I could never have planned.
The irony? Once I stopped obsessing over becoming "successful," real opportunities started flowing naturally.
Here's the question that changed everything for me:
What if success isn't about pushing harder toward some future goal, but about being more present and curious right now?
Explore this idea— and tons more— on this week’s episode of The Optimist:
